Enjoying a nice fire in Davis.
I got a new haircut and I am finally relaxing in Davis. I have grown very fond of this little city and its beauty. Currently I am at my favorite coffee shop in Davis, Barista Brew. There are countless great memories I have in this lovely place I can call home. Sigh, Just thinking about all of it brings my heart to a slow relaxed pace. It is that feeling you get when you see something like a cute little puppy and your heart sinks cause of love, or whatever good feeling that makes your heart sink.
My lease is going to end in August of 2014. I might have to sublet earlier though. I have been living in Union City and Davis. UC during the week and Davis on the weekends. I know where I wanna live and my dream home. When the day comes that I must leave Davis I will be extremely heart broken, yet hopeful. I will one day return and buy a house or something. This is will a great place to raise a family. I am writing this just in case I forget one of my goals. I will look back at this post one day and hopefully be living in Davis again, or assessing when I can move back. Very lucky that I am to have been able to live here for the short but long three years. Glad I can always return to this place if ever I wanted.
Lately for the past month or two I have been feeling a lot of anger. I have been filling myself with so much negative energy. This has caused me to want to yell or want to get into a fight with someone. I can see that there is a problem and now I must do my best to find the source of why and how to fix it.
Maybe my anger stems from a lot of stress that I have been dealing with lately. Then again it could be attributed to the fact I have not had much “me time”. I fear that if I keep this up I might end up hurting someone out of anger.
My plan of fixing this is to take more time for me. Go to Davis and relax with the place that I call home. The biggest thing I gotta do is let go. I am holding on to so much negative that it is taking a toll on my mind, body, and spirit. Blogging my feelings is another thing that helps a lot. Well goodnight and take care.
Valentines, all in one post!
(Someone mentioned wanting to download these. You can download hi-res versions of all the cards here for $10 and use them guilt-free! I’m glad you guys like these, and thank you for your support! Also, font by bluucat)
Created by pluww
When I listen to this song it brings back so many memories. I feel like I am back in elementary school where in that time I fell in love with trance. I can’t believe its been over 10 years since I started listening to trance. This music really brings me at peace. I find it beautiful how the sounds that play can give it meaning without having to express them in lyrics.
When I listen to this song in particular it is as if I am young again, and I feel like I am falling in love all over again with this music. I start to think about how I used to take Bart and listen to trance while looking out the window. Then all the times I used to hang out with my cousin and just enjoy the weekend with him. Much simpler times that they were. Getting good grades and not looking like a fool at school was the only thing you needed to worry about.
My cousin and I used to always bike around. During the night we called it boon docking. We would ride into the night into places so far and beautiful. I remember when we went up to the tallest hill in Pittsburgh near Kirker Pass. The city seemed so small. We felt like we were watching over everything.
Listening to trance is my music to bring peace and clarity to me. I love this song and how much great memories it brings. I will create new ones and maybe just attach it to this song.
Also I am very much in love and am feeling a lil better.
I have not cried in a long while. I miss that feeling of crying. When I cry it does not have to be because of sadness. There are rare times I happen to cry because of happiness. On occasion I happen to be so into a movie or song that brings about overwhelming emotion.
I believe crying is a way for our body and mind a means to express whatever excess emotion we might have. Inside I have been feeling a bit empty as if something is wrong or missing. Even with this temporary feeling I am unable to fully feel something. I want to cry. I just want to release something. I just listened to a song that is very bittersweet. Song is called Tea and Toast. While that song played I did my best to immerse myself into the lyrics. My desire was fulfilled and was able to cry. The feeling of overwhelming emotion is wonderful. You feel something like happiness, sadness, or even anger and it leads to an excess that needs to escape your body. The tears roll out and you feel relief. You head feels a bit heavy and then light. Your lids are a bit puffy because of the tears that build up behind it as if a dam is about to give way. Once that dam can’t hold anymore it just flows over and you feel so much relief.
I feel a bit better now. I still have some things I need to release. As of right now though I do not feel overwhelmed with emptiness. Do not worry though. I am doing well and and mentally and physically in good shape. I am just in a slump at the moment in which I will soon overcome. Goodnight dear friends.
I have a wonderful friend whom I named Chunky. My friends and I call her Chunk for short of course. She is the only female member in DOC. We all value her greatly. I always viewed her as the DOC treasure that we must protect. The reason I am making this gratitude dedicated to her is because it was recently her birthday, and to express gratitude in her honor.
Countless times Chunk has always been able to make it to many of the events hosted by one of the members in our group. It usually starts off with us hanging out mid afternoon to early evening. Eventually we drop her off at home around 430 AM. Never has she ever complained on how late we bring her home. Even though we bring her home late she still hangs out with us knowing it will happen again. We stayed up pretty late celebrating her birthday and our annual secret Santa.
No matter what event big or small Chunk manages to make some amazing cupcakes or baked delights we can feast on. She is the best artisan baker I know. I am incredibly grateful to have her in my life. She reads my blogs and this blog is only known by very few people; I prefer not to have many people I see what I write. At times I write some blog that might seem melancholy and immediately I will either get a call or message from her checking on me. Thank you Chunk for caring and always brightening up my life. I believe she knows me very well and has great intuition. Chunk also has great memory, and can remember so much from the past. I apologize for the times I forget and will forget of things we have talked about. Chunk is also apart of a business. I believe she works incredibly hard with all the shipping and helping manage. There are times when you do many things in life and are not acknowledged. It can be frustrating and discouraging. I write this small part in hopes that she understand that I see and am very proud of her. Oh yeah and she made this wonderful DOC trivia game for the group and it was amazingly fun and challenging. We all learned a lot that night. There was a Friends episode that inspired this elaborate trivia game she worked hard on. Well I will end this now because I am thinking a lot and its gonna go off on many tangents. Thank you so much for being everything that you are Chunk. I speak for myself when I say you are greatly loved and appreciated, yet I know the whole group feels that same way. “hugs”