I was tired of listening to my Jia Peng Fang and decided to change the CD. I noticed a CD in my car I have not listened to in a long time. I believe it was at least 2 years since I played it. Popped it in and the music was wonderful, yet pretty sad with the lyrics. The music I put on a CD or playlist express how I feel during that time.
Much of the music I play today has an upbeat as well as upbeat lyrics. This made me think of how much has changed over the past few years and how my mood has been. My mood was from sad and depressed to upbeat and wonderful. My life turned for the better about two years ago. I have to thank her for all that she has done. My life would not be as good and as happy if you were not there to help me see the brighter side of life.
Thank you so much for always making me smile and bring joy to my life.
I got a new haircut and I am finally relaxing in Davis. I have grown very fond of this little city and its beauty. Currently I am at my favorite coffee shop in Davis, Barista Brew. There are countless great memories I have in this lovely place I can call home. Sigh, Just thinking about all of it brings my heart to a slow relaxed pace. It is that feeling you get when you see something like a cute little puppy and your heart sinks cause of love, or whatever good feeling that makes your heart sink.
My lease is going to end in August of 2014. I might have to sublet earlier though. I have been living in Union City and Davis. UC during the week and Davis on the weekends. I know where I wanna live and my dream home. When the day comes that I must leave Davis I will be extremely heart broken, yet hopeful. I will one day return and buy a house or something. This is will a great place to raise a family. I am writing this just in case I forget one of my goals. I will look back at this post one day and hopefully be living in Davis again, or assessing when I can move back. Very lucky that I am to have been able to live here for the short but long three years. Glad I can always return to this place if ever I wanted.
Lately for the past month or two I have been feeling a lot of anger. I have been filling myself with so much negative energy. This has caused me to want to yell or want to get into a fight with someone. I can see that there is a problem and now I must do my best to find the source of why and how to fix it.
Maybe my anger stems from a lot of stress that I have been dealing with lately. Then again it could be attributed to the fact I have not had much “me time”. I fear that if I keep this up I might end up hurting someone out of anger.
My plan of fixing this is to take more time for me. Go to Davis and relax with the place that I call home. The biggest thing I gotta do is let go. I am holding on to so much negative that it is taking a toll on my mind, body, and spirit. Blogging my feelings is another thing that helps a lot. Well goodnight and take care.
Valentines, all in one post!
(Someone mentioned wanting to download these. You can download hi-res versions of all the cards here for $10 and use them guilt-free! I’m glad you guys like these, and thank you for your support! Also, font by bluucat)
Created by pluww
When I listen to this song it brings back so many memories. I feel like I am back in elementary school where in that time I fell in love with trance. I can’t believe its been over 10 years since I started listening to trance. This music really brings me at peace. I find it beautiful how the sounds that play can give it meaning without having to express them in lyrics.
When I listen to this song in particular it is as if I am young again, and I feel like I am falling in love all over again with this music. I start to think about how I used to take Bart and listen to trance while looking out the window. Then all the times I used to hang out with my cousin and just enjoy the weekend with him. Much simpler times that they were. Getting good grades and not looking like a fool at school was the only thing you needed to worry about.
My cousin and I used to always bike around. During the night we called it boon docking. We would ride into the night into places so far and beautiful. I remember when we went up to the tallest hill in Pittsburgh near Kirker Pass. The city seemed so small. We felt like we were watching over everything.
Listening to trance is my music to bring peace and clarity to me. I love this song and how much great memories it brings. I will create new ones and maybe just attach it to this song.
Also I am very much in love and am feeling a lil better.
I have not cried in a long while. I miss that feeling of crying. When I cry it does not have to be because of sadness. There are rare times I happen to cry because of happiness. On occasion I happen to be so into a movie or song that brings about overwhelming emotion.
I believe crying is a way for our body and mind a means to express whatever excess emotion we might have. Inside I have been feeling a bit empty as if something is wrong or missing. Even with this temporary feeling I am unable to fully feel something. I want to cry. I just want to release something. I just listened to a song that is very bittersweet. Song is called Tea and Toast. While that song played I did my best to immerse myself into the lyrics. My desire was fulfilled and was able to cry. The feeling of overwhelming emotion is wonderful. You feel something like happiness, sadness, or even anger and it leads to an excess that needs to escape your body. The tears roll out and you feel relief. You head feels a bit heavy and then light. Your lids are a bit puffy because of the tears that build up behind it as if a dam is about to give way. Once that dam can’t hold anymore it just flows over and you feel so much relief.
I feel a bit better now. I still have some things I need to release. As of right now though I do not feel overwhelmed with emptiness. Do not worry though. I am doing well and and mentally and physically in good shape. I am just in a slump at the moment in which I will soon overcome. Goodnight dear friends.